Saturday, December 19, 2009

Titan: Fart Ball Planet

Recent evidence suggests that rainfall of methane may occur on Titan, Saturn's largest moon. This means that rivers and lakes and watersheds (methanesheds?) of disgusting-smelling fluid are flowing over the surface of this planet. Here's a picture:

Science is gross!

Please note that Titan can not be lit on fire, because there is not significant oxygen in the atmosphere.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Why did the Wicked Witch of the West Melt?

The wicked witch of the west was made up of ionic bonds, rather than covalent bonds, because she was not a carbon-based life form. When several mol of water was dumped on her, she melted, and her particles turned into ions in the water.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Pink Lady Slipper Dispersed by Elves

Pink Lady's Slipper (Cypripedium acaule) is a beautiful plant that occurs along much of the East Coast of North America. According to the well-regarded scientific journal, this plant occurs in pine and broadleaf forests and requires an association with a fungi for its survival.

Until now, very little was known about the way seeds of this plant are dispersed. However, compelling new research indicates that the plant is actually dispersed by elves, who use the flowers as shoes. These elves frolic widely across many forests, effectively dispersing the seeds. Some elves are lazy and prefer to frolick down Class 4 Forest Service Roads, which accounts for this plant often occurring on roadsides.

Normal dispersal methods such as wind and animals can not account for the dispersal of this plant, because they fail to account for the fungal associate, which is rarely seen in nature. It is, however, commonly found on elf feet, as a foot fungus. Elves discard the shoes when their feet become sweaty due to humidity, thus inoculating the seeds with their fungal associate.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Alternative Plant Names: Toxic-O-Ding-Dong

Originally uploaded by inyopfc
Some may know it as Toxicodendron diversilobum, while others know it as Poison Oak. Yet more people know it as @#@#%$!^^^#$.

To a fake scientist, it is Toxic-O-Ding-Dong.

And it makes a really bad toilet paper.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Tracking Radio-collared Hipsters

In 2001 the National Park Service started a project to fit 12 Hipsters with radio collars and track their movements. In the picture above, biologist Emmanuel tracks a hipster utilizing the 101 freeway as a connecting corridor between Silverlake and San Francisco. This corridor along Highway 101 is vital to hipster dispersal because the area between Silverlake and San Francisco is otherwise filled with habitats unsuitable for Hipsters, except for one coffee shop in San Luis Obispo.

In the last 5 years, a disturbing trend has been noted in Hipsters, with their population dropping by at least 80%. It is believed that some of them have entered torpor due to too much cocaine, while others have pupated and transformed into Yuppies or so-called "Indie-Kids". Projects like the one pictured above are vital in ensuring the survival of this strange, rare species.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

1.5 Miles from Economic Collapse

Apparently the next Great Depression is only 1.5 miles past this sign. Also, apparently someone thought that shooting the sign would cause economic stimulus.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Ladybug Orgy

Ladybug Orgy
Originally uploaded by inyopfc
Where are the Republicans? This is a moral outrage!